thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
