you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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