do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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