Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
