I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
