Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
