just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
