Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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