Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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