Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
