my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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