If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
