He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
