You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
