Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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