My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
