how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize