Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
