Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
