I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
