Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
