He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
