I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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