He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
