He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize