Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
