My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We talked him into tasing himself.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
