She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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