So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
3pm strippers are depressing
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
