you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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