I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
dude. I can hear the air.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
