What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
