If that was your dad, he is hot
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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