we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
