Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
