i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
