he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize