no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
