no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
