wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize