he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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