she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
