I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
