My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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