okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
