from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
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