Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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