Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize