I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I want a musical about memes.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
