so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
