i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
