I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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