He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
