I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Damn victory sex feels great
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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