fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
