omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
