With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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