I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
