I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
