I hope mine doesn't look like that
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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