not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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