So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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