the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
