Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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