That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
