....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
