arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
