Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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