I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
as a side note pls kill me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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