Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
