____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
