dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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