It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
