great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
