thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize