why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
