I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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