You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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