How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Randomize
