Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
